


Silence

by midgetnazgul



Series: Second Reckoning [1]
Category: Tales of the Abyss
Genre: Angst, Discussion of Death and Mortality, Gen, Jade is bad at feelings, Jade's borderline sociopathy, Jade-Luke paternal relationship, PTSD, Post-Game, Tags to be updated as necessary, and like the rest of the party too but that's the framing here, incidental mention of other secondary characters, non-linear anthology, technically post-game but pre-coda cutscene in Tataroo Valley
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:21:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25173046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midgetnazgul/pseuds/midgetnazgul
Summary: What does grief mean when you think you can't feel it?
Relationships: Jade Curtiss & Luke fon Fabre
Series: Second Reckoning [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1823626
Comments: 8
Kudos: 41





	Silence

**Author's Note:**

> I first played Tales of the Abyss in 2006 on its original release. Having been a rather rabid fan of Tales of Symphonia (my initiation into the franchise) for three years beforehand, I was not prepared for the effect Abyss would have on my teenage fandom tendencies and really my entire philosophy of life. To date, it is my all-time favorite video game, and as you might imagine, Jade is my favorite character. As time has worn on and I have aged and changed, however, my perspectives on every one of the cast members has changed a whole lot, particularly in regards to Natalia -- but that's another story.
> 
> In 2011, I was in my early twenties had recently re-finished at least a third or fourth playthrough of the game when I encountered a 100-word prompt list on [drumroll] a Livejournal group, and felt particularly inspired. Abyss is a game that benefits from multiple playthroughs, and I had been meditating for some time on Jade and Luke's complicated personal relationship; that prompt list seemed like a great opportunity to flesh it out in my head, and it accidentally turned into a whole narrative with throughput. All of these were begun in that time, and have been sitting in a neglected file folder that has been transferred across at least five different computers for the past decade-plus. 
> 
> I didn't post them largely because I thought it would find no audience -- I have never had irl friends that enjoyed Tales games, especially Abyss, the way I do, and at that time I was not yet aware of AO3. This was my first major foray returning to fanfiction writing since middle school, and I was mere months away from entering into an entirely different fandom that would consume all my creative energies for a solid four years. It's a victim of time and circumstance, really.
> 
> I am 32 this year, and have the benefit of at last finding a couple of online mutual friends who enjoy the franchise (shoutout to you, Leo) and encouraged me to post these, and the time feels as right as it ever will probably feel. Many are unfinished, and they may remain that way due to other, more contemporary projects (hahaha sorry, readers of The Chain), so some nitty-gritty facts here to appreciate before reading:
> 
> \- these have not been beta'd beyond my efforts and largely reflect writing that is over a decade old, though I'm punching up some of them as I go for my sense of sanity  
> \- it is an anthology meant to have major gaps in time, and while my original intent would have been to post these in chronological order, they will not necessarily be that way now (though all will have headers stating when they are supposed to take place relative to game canon)  
> \- some of them will feel like they are making reference to something you haven't read -- that is intentional, because only some of the entries have ever been anywhere close to finished. if you're desperately curious, you are welcome to ask me clarifying questions in comments about it because I am not certain I will ever manage to cobble the whole thing together.  
> \- the title of each individual entry is named for the 100-word prompt choice I was originally inspired by
> 
> this is not shipping fanfiction and it's focused on a very niche interpersonal relationship for an equally-niche corner of video game fandom, but I do hope whoever finds these enjoys them. thanks!

_Padamiyan Continent, two hours after Lorelei’s release_

Time had suddenly, curiously lost all meaning. Their journey was over, the world at peace.

And yet Jade could gain no solace. Transfixed as he was on the resonating seventh fonons soaring to the fon belt, it was as if something would be irrevocably lost if he turned his back on it. He shook himself out of his daze. Someone had to keep them all going on the last leg of their quest, and he would fulfill that job as he had done so faithfully in the past. They were only children. No one could expect them to be able to remain conscious of the responsibilities still left in the wake of such a loss. It was difficult enough for his own, usually unflappable sense of purpose.

He turned to face his companions.

“We still need to report back to Chesedonia.”

Finally, the spell broke and time fell back into correct passage as the others were roused from their own reveries. Silently and slowly, they turned to meet Jade at the crest of the hill, and continued on to the Albiore, which had landed on the other side of a cluster of trees sometime before.

Noelle had been all too happy to jump over the side railing on the deck and run to meet them when they approached the ship. She had stopped short several meters, however, when she realized what was amiss. Their procession continued on past her despite the sudden stop and high-pitched gibbering that followed from their pilot.

“B-but Luke…” she finally managed to stammer.

A rippling flinch passed through all five of them. The response was slow.

“Luke elected to stay behind to release Lorelei.” Jade answered coolly.

“What?” She cried. From her position in the previously-circling Albiore, Noelle had had an excellent view to the destruction of the floating citadel as much as any of them. “But Eldrant…a-and what about As-“

Guy cut her off with a curt shake of his head and a nod to Natalia, who was very pale. The other two girls flanked her on each side, Tear’s hands on the princess’ shoulders, and Anise’s hands tightly wringing Natalia’s.

“Their majesties are waiting for us,” Jade prompted again.

Noelle mumbled an unintelligible response and led the way back on the flying craft. Upon boarding, Jade saw Ginji sitting in the seat next to the cockpit, bandaged but otherwise looking fairly well. He raised concerned eyebrows at the less-than-jubilant return, but opted not to speak, most likely because of everyone’s disposition. Noelle appeared to silently communicate the situation to her brother with a glance, and after a sympathetic glance back at the group, he turned to face forward in his seat.

The flight was completely silent. In fact, the only thing Jade could remember as the Albiore’s engines disengaged in Chesedonia was taking off. Nearly two hours had passed without his knowledge. He cursed his lack of attention while he stood and strode to the side door. Dimly through the steel, he could hear the muted din of cheering. He pivoted a bit, though didn’t quite face his friends.

“If you would prefer, the rest of you can wait, and I will take care of reporting to their majesties,” he offered quietly.

“No!” Anise yelped.

“Absolutely not. We couldn’t just leave you to do that alone.” Natalia echoed hoarsely.

“That’s not fair,” Guy chimed in.

Tear said nothing, but looked up to meet Jade’s eyes in solidarity. Only children they may be, and yet so far beyond that, now.

“Very well.” He reached behind him, opening the hatch with the press of a button. The full roar of the cheering rushed in the fuselage, abruptly filling the quiet. “Are you all ready?”

Each of them looked to one another for a moment before standing to fall in line behind the fonist. As Jade’s eyes scanned across the expanse of Chesedonia, he could see several companies of soldiers, both Kimlascan and Malkuthian. In the center of the throng were the assembled might of each country’s high command and, finally, the heads of state themselves. He picked out Peony in between King Ingobert and Astor. Mechanically Jade descended the steps and caught the Emperor’s gaze. Peony’s jovial expression soon turned puzzled at the sight of Jade before melting into shock as no one followed behind Natalia, who was holding up the rear of the line. Ingobert’s face gained a tinge of green and he froze in the middle of clapping. While the rank-and-file soldiers continued obliviously, the officers – particularly the Kimlascans – and rulers were dumbfounded. After what seemed an eternity, the group stood before the royal collective.

“Where…” Ingobert stammered before looking to his daughter for explanation. A choked sob from somewhere behind Jade was the only answer.

“If we could speak somewhere else,” Jade interrupted by stepping into Ingobert’s path as he understandably made to rush to Natalia’s side. The king recovered his professional demeanor and nodded.

“We can speak in my manor,” Astor offered, waving a hand towards the expansive structure visible even over the massive crowd. Officers parted to let them pass.

Again they walked in line, surrounded on each side of the path by the aforementioned soldiers. The shouting began to thin, first from the Kimlascans, noting the absence of their red-headed member of royalty, then eventually to their new Malkuth comrades. Whispers spread as a vicious hissing wind around them. The void left in Jade’s chest widened painfully by the second as Luke’s absence was forced into clearer focus.

“Jade,” Peony whispered off to his right. The emperor had slowed his pace to walk beside his best friend. Jade ignored him and kept his eyes glued to the back of Teodoro’s head.

Once they were situated in the relative privacy of the salons within Astor’s palace, Ingobert flew to Natalia’s side. In the face of her father’s dismay, she was no longer able to control herself and began sobbing into his shoulder. Teodoro, in a rare show of paternal affection, sat next to Tear and took one of her hands in his as she, too, finally began to break down. Guy and Anise had taken a couch opposite Tear and her grandfather where they both were heroically trying not to follow in sorrowful suit. That left Jade standing toward the back of the room. Ingobert spoke, quiet desperation in his voice.

“What in the world happened?” His eyes bounced from one member of the party to another before stopping at Jade. The others in turn followed the king’s gaze. Most of their stares were merely bewildered, but Guy’s, Anise’s, and Natalia’s all carried the smallest hints of accusation. He imagined they were more than a little hurt from being refused complete knowledge as to Luke’s condition, and he couldn’t blame them. They deserved the truth, and only he was the one who held all of it.

Their demanding stares, for an instant, made him feel claustrophobic, and he involuntarily dodged their glances to stare at the floor. Quickly enough he pulled himself back together, but inwardly he was left a little shaken. He did his best to ignore it and tried to find a place to begin.

“Van and the rest of the God-Generals, save Dist, are dead,” Jade said. Ingobert’s face fell further.

“A-all of them?” It was obvious as to which particular General he had been referring.

“Yes, that includes Asch.”

His blunt tone balked the Kimlascan noble. Both Guy and Peony were giving him warning looks, but he didn’t have the energy to be tactful.

“H-how did…”

“Fighting off Oracle replicas to give us time.”

“Suzanne…what am I going to tell Suzanne…” the king whispered hoarsely. One of his hands was freed from holding Natalia to cover the upper half of his face. After a moment he calmed again. “Then I assume there is…no body I can return home?”

“No. Even if we knew where it had happened, Eldrant has collapsed in on itself from the force of Lorelei’s release.”

“Then why in Yulia’s name is Luke still there? Obviously he is the one who released it.”

“As you suspect, he decided to stay behind to finish the task.”

“As the building crumbles around his ears? That’s insane!” Peony chimed in off to Jade’s left, gesticulating savagely. “There’s something to this you’re not telling us...none of you would leave him alone to _die_ like that.”

Everyone in the entourage was stung by Peony’s rebuke, but Jade knew very well that it had been specifically worded just for him.

“The decision was Luke’s. I had no right to deny him his final wish.” Jade replied quietly.

“The hell you don’t!” Peony dropped all professional pretense and strode across the room to stare Jade down face-to-face. He could not recall the last time he’d seen the emperor so angry.

“You misunderstand,” Jade said emotionlessly, “Luke wasn’t going to survive.”

“After what happened at the Tower of Rem, you actually _believe_ that?”

“It is _because_ of what happened at the Tower of Rem that Luke had no chance of survival.”

That stopped Peony cold. “What?”

It was far too late to stop now without explanation, though he felt it cruel to do so.

“Luke…was dying. He suffered from chronic sympathetic fonon separation.”

“What does that mean? I thought…” Ingobert trailed off.

Jade adjusted his glasses before stepping past a bewildered Peony to address Ingobert.

“I use the term ‘chronic’ only because his efforts at the Tower didn’t kill him outright, but speaking in layman’s terms, the seventh fonons that comprised his organic bonds were dissipating.”

“Before you left for Eldrant, he seemed fine…” Teodoro said.

“There are few outward symptoms that denote the condition. Only when the body is put under stress do any obvious markers appear.”

“Stress?” asked Guy. Realization seemed to dawn on him.

“Yes, the greatest of which being hyperresonance, in Luke’s case.”

“Was he…was he suffering?” Natalia asked in halting beats. Everyone’s demeanor instantly sobered further.

Jade shifted uncomfortably in place. “His condition is mostly defined by declining health and weakness, but it is also punctuated by occasional…” His eyes slid up towards the ceiling as he searched for as delicate a phrase as possible, “Periods of accelerated deterioration if enough stress is put on the body.”

“You’re dodging the question,” Tear said sharply. She appeared offended by his attempt to be gentle. A quick scan of the rest of his companions reflected a similar opinion.

“Seizures,” he corrected bluntly. Eyes all around the room, except Tear’s, widened in shock. “Though that is something of a misnomer, as the effect is physiological, not neurological. When stressed, the fonic bonds attempt to compensate, but it only accelerates the decomposition. If it is severe enough, the person will have a seizure, which is often accompanied by temporary, but widespread and severe fonic degeneration.”

“Like when his hand…” Tear murmured to herself.

“Yes, exactly,” Jade answered for her with uncharacteristic gentility. Clearly in his mind he could recall the images of a frightened child curled in on himself, overburdened by the doubled weight of both the world’s salvation and his own mortality. The sounds of fearful tears reverberated dully within the memory, and at once all of Jade’s usual intricate mental defenses fell away, leaving a yawning emptiness behind. Whatever precipice he had been balancing on shifted violently, and it required every ounce of willpower to remain metaphorically upright. So absorbed was he that he almost missed Anise’s question.

“H-how many times…” she asked meekly.

“Twice that I know of.” _That_ surprised Tear, whom had only witnessed one.

“And yet he persevered…” Teodoro murmured in awe. “But, could nothing truly be done-“

It was an innocent, rhetorical question, but Jade’s nerves had become far too frayed by his guilt to notice until it was too late.

“If anything could have been done with even a minimal chance of success to sustain him, I most certainly would have at least _tried_ ,” he answered angrily.

The answer had come involuntarily, far louder and much more desperately than he would ever want to convey to anyone. Again far too many pairs of eyes flicked across to him, this time simultaneously shocked and sympathetic at his unexpected honesty. Jade put on a show of recovery with a flick of his long hair and a defiant, raised chin, but it was already too late. Whatever dam he had constructed within himself had broken irreparably. His hand shook just slightly as he brushed aside his bangs.

“The fact of the matter is that, Luke, as we know him, has dissolved into the individual seventh fonons from whence he came, and most likely fused with Lorelei. Anything beyond that, we can only speculate.” After a moment, he regained his focus and looked up again before continuing with hesitation.

“Though I imagine ‘hope’ is the better word.”

Guy smiled weakly back at him. Tear and Natalia were again enveloped by their adoptive parents, and Anise, finally overcome, jumped off the couch and threw her arms around Jade’s waist in an embrace. He returned it best he could despite the inner numbness, one hand resting on top of her head.

“I apologize for not telling you. I gave Luke my word not to.”

Anise looked up at him, traces of tears marking her face, but nonetheless she smiled genuinely in acceptance.

“Nobody’s blaming you, Colonel.”

Her words struck harder than she’d intended. Why _didn’t_ anyone blame him?

Ingobert took a short glance around the room before standing.

“I’m sure you’re all exhausted. There’s nothing else that needs to be covered, at least for today, so I think it’s in all our best interests to turn in.”

“Indeed,” said Astor, as he clapped his hands. Attendants appeared from the shadows to lead them to guests’ rooms.

Various mumbles of acquiescence floated about as each one of them separated towards different rooms. Jade also took his leave, but his movements seemed not his own, as though he was watching himself from outside. A familiar presence hovered at his side.

“Jade--”

“No.”

“ _Jade,_ ” Peony repeated.

Jade had given his final answer and wasn’t about to repeat it. He kept walking.

As an anonymous door clicked shut behind him, silence rushed in again with oppressive force. He went to remove his gloves, only to pause when he found his hands were again shaking, but harder this time. With all distraction of conversation removed, the inner chasm returned to claim what pieces of Jade’s control that still remained. The sheer emptiness left behind made it hard to breathe. In all his life, he had never felt so, _incredibly_ drained. He slid down the door to sit and let his head fall back to stare upwards.

Despite his last words to Luke, the boy’s own promise to return home, and his penchant for breaking the laws of physics, the overarching, cold and completely unavoidable fact was that Luke was gone, and there was no guarantee that any of them would ever see him again.


End file.
